Young, vibrant, young people who had serious issues. Domestic abuse is a horrible thing to do to the one that you love. It affects the children - horribly; it affects the abused - horribly; it affects the abuser - horribly, it affects everyone they know - horrifically.
It's all about control. One person trying to lord control over the other. Love is kind. Love is patient. Love does not envy. Love is not easily angered. The opposite is true of abuse.
I was once in the same place as a lot of abused spouses. I didn't think that I would get out alive - but God. I plead now with people in relationships that are not loving and those relationships that are hurtful both physically and emotionally, please stop and get help.
It's not worth it to try to control your significant other. The only one that we can control is us and oftentimes, we can't control our own selves. People have the right to make decisions for themselves. We may not agree with their decisions but they have a right to make them.
If you feel the need to harm someone physically to get them to do what you want, believe me people will rebel - even against the violence that is inflicted upon them. Control is NEVER control.
If an individual wants to leave the relationship, let them go. They will either decide that it was not a good idea to leave or they just may leave permanently. It may hurt for a while but you will get past this. The Lord may just have the ideal person for you just waiting for God's set timing.
- Ask the Lord for your potential spouse and wait long enough for Him to reveal that individual to you. Beauty is skin deep but true love is to the bone.
- Watch people for a while before you become deeply involved with them.
- Watch how they treat their families, especially their mother.
- Pay attention to their work ethic and whether or not they pay their bills and take care of their property.
- If they have children, observe whether they support their children; how do they treat their children.
- Watch their prayer life (if they have one).
- Observe whether they have a relationship with the Lord.
- Are they kind?
- Are they patient?
- Are they easily angered? People can't hide who they are for long so give the relationship time so that you can see who they really are. They WILL show you! Believe them when they show you.
- If they want to control your access to friends and family from the beginning of the relationship, don't be so eager to be agreeable with that behavior.
- If you feel uncomfortable or threaten by the behavior of the person from the beginning of the relationship, don't hesitate - end it.
- If they hit you once, they WILL hit you again.
I love you enough to tell you.